The Things That Don't Matter

A fellow bed rest buddy and I were chatting today about how being on bed rest really changes your perspective on what matters and what doesn't.  

It really does change how you view the world.   I certainly don't worry about half the things I used to (though my worries are larger now, they won't always be that way).  While here, I don't RSVP to many things, simply because I can't, but I know that moving forward, I will be more selective on how I share my time and my energies.  

I am able to see the friendships that truly matter, the friends who are committed to our lives and with whom we are committed to as well.  It's not just those who visit or send gifts (though those are so appreciated).  It's those who reach out through Facebook, texts, calls and emails.   The ones who don't stop calling, even if I don't answer for a few days.  Those who offer support and love and share their stories.   In the beginning, I had people reaching out who weren't really truly friends.  It was almost as if there was drama happening and they needed details.   But once they had the story, they dropped off and haven't been heard from again.   True, life gets busy, but those who matter, make time.   

This year, my "new years resolution" which I simply called my yearly goal has been to spend more quality time with my family and friends.   To foster relationships and grow a few tall flowers, rather than a field full of short ones.  When I strayed from that, God stepped in and closed doors I was struggling (and unwilling) to close.  And now He has shown me that the relationships I have are more than enough and worth the time and energy I've put in to grow them.   

We are lucky to be invited to a multitude of events - both social and community centered.  From local fundraisers, to birthday parties, to running and triathlon events, in home sales parties and much more.   Every event I RSVP 'no' to, I always feel some guilt.  I think "how can I stretch my schedule to make that work?"  How do I balance trying to help everyone and be everything to everyone at the same time?   As well as focus on my family?  Well, I can tell you that I can't.  I suck at it.  I'm great at it for a minute and a half, and then all my balls drop and I'm only giving 10% to everything and everyone involved.  Eventually God closed a door that allowed me to focus much more of my time on my family and less time on other families, people and STUFF that didn't matter.   What that did was strengthen my marriage and my relationship with friends and family so that we are now a united front and are better prepared for this leg of our journey.  

So as life unfolds and true hearts are revealed, I'm thankful for the great friendships I have, the new relationships that have grown from this experience and for learning what really matters.  I'm also thankful for what came before because I'm stronger now as a result.  I am blessed beyond measure.