This is what miracles look like.

Tonight I held Noah for the first time.  He is 6 days old today, born at 30w3d, weighing 1 pound, 10 ounces.  He was less than 3%, SIUGR.

He is off the vent, off CPAP, on room air on the cannula, just got his PICC line in yesterday and is surpassing every milestone set in his path.

He raised his head up, opened his eyes and looked straight at me.  His heart rate settled and he settled into the best breathing rhythm I've seen since he's been in the NICU.  He let out the biggest, most content sigh and just melted in my arms.

After only touching him with our fingertips for 6 days, holding him to my chest, feeling him breath in and out on his own and calming his small cries through my touch and closeness was an absolute blessing.  He now knows my heartbeat from inside and out.

Best thing in the entire world!  I wanted so badly to do skin to skin with him after he was born and I knew we wouldn't have the ability to do that for quite a while.  But feeling him breath tonight took away all the pain and heartache of the last month.  The scary moments are so small now compared to the feeling of his skin on mine. What an incredible experience this has been.

Thank you for letting me share this with you. I know it can get old to hear of someone's journey like this, day and and day out, and it's all I talk about lately.  You all have been my rocks through this and your support and kindness still carries me on the dark days.  (I see the bags under my eyes and know they would be much worse without you all).  Thank you for caring about me and my family!

This is what miracles look like.